The Christmas Puppy

By Lorraine Houston

Although my eyes and ears have yet to open, I can smell stale urine and feces all around me. My mother shivers from the dampness but licks my tiny body clean and tucks me under her legs where it’s warm and safe. Her fur is dirty and tangled; her bones poke through tired thin skin and her ears are swollen and ooze with infection. She is very devoted to me and my brothers and sisters; she never leaves us. We are in a wire cage, so she has no choice but to stay.

Several weeks go by. Now I can see and hear, but it’s always dark and the only sounds I hear are dogs barking and puppies crying. Sometimes I hear my mother softly crying when she thinks we are asleep. Once in a while, a big man comes to visit us. He shouts in a loud voice that we should “shut up” and then I hear banging sounds. After that he throws something in a bowl at my mother. I see her trying to eat but she struggles every time. I think her teeth are sore.

One day the big man comes and opens a giant door. The darkness is filled with bright light and at first it hurts my eyes. There is a lot of barking and the big man is opening the cages, taking the puppies by the scruff and putting them into cases with handles. One of the moms snaps at the big man’s hand when he goes to take her puppies away and he gets mad and hits her, she falls backwards and cries. He is coming toward our cage now and grabbing for us, I don’t want to go. My mom is at the back of the cage trembling. I try to get to her, but the big man’s hands are all over me. I cry out for my mom, but now I am in a dark place with all my brothers and sisters. The case starts to move and I can see my mom at the front of the cage calling for us, but we are moving farther away. I can’t see my mom anymore; she is gone.

We are in bright light and it is very cold. We must huddle together to keep warm. All the cases have been put in row and the big man is talking to someone. There is a loud rumbling sound and the other person is picking up the cases and we are in darkness again. Soon the rumbling gets louder and I can feel the earth move underneath me. I am scared, cold and tired.

We have been in the case for a long time now and we are very hungry and thirsty. Maybe the big man will come and give us something to eat soon.

At last the rumbling sound has stopped and we hear voices from outside. There is a big bang noise that scares us and makes us jump and jerk around. My brother is so scared he throws up. I feel our case move and we are taken into warm light.

The big man is not here, but there are other people and they are opening the cases and taking the puppies out. Our case is being opened and a hand is coming toward us. I am not sure what to do. I want to get out of the case, but I do not know the hand. I will just stay still. The hand has me now, but only for a brief moment. Now I am in another case, but this case is better because I can see all around. The hand was not so bad after all. My brothers and sisters are in the new case with me too. My one brother is not feeling well he is tired and must sleep. The hand brings us food and water. We are all so hungry and thirsty we scramble over each other to eat and drink. Soon after that, the hand comes and cleans us up. Then we sleep.

When we wake up we can see many people from our case. Some people are tapping the case, but it is not too loud. I ask my sister to play chase with me and she does. The hand comes in and gives us more food. My brother is still not feeling and doesn’t eat with us. People are looking at us through our case and watch us eat. The next day a man comes and picks me up. He is holding me in his hands for a very long time. I don’t know what to do so I stay still. I have never been held this long before, it is not so bad. He holds me tight and I feel a sharp pinch in my skin then he puts me back into the case.

All day people come and go. Some of them look at us and some walk by. I play with my brothers and sisters, eat and sleep. Many sleeps have come and gone and then one day the hand comes into the case and picks me up. The hand gives me to different hands. I am up very high and when I looked down it is scary so I hold tight to the hands. I am now being held closely and the person is smiling and talking to another person. She hands me to the other person who does not hold me closely. This person has me high in the air and is moving me from side to side. I am scared and try to jump away but he squeezes me and gives me back to the other person. I like this person better. She holds me gently and does not squeeze me.

I am back in my case now but only for a short time. The hands I have come to know are back for me. I am being given to the ‘Gentle’ and ‘Squeeze’ people. Thank goodness Gentle is the one who reaches for me first. She tucks me inside her coat, much like my mother used to tuck me under her legs. I am warm and feel safe. We are moving through a sea of people; they are everywhere! Big and small, most are carrying case-like packages. I huddle closer to Gentle.

A burst of cold air hits me and cold flakes are blowing into my face. I can hardly keep my eyes open the flakes are coming toward me so fast. Gentle covers my face with her hand. When she stops moving, there is some banging sounds and I am placed in a big case. I hear a familiar rumble sound and can feel the ground moving beneath me; the big case is moving. I can see out but everything is going by so fast, it makes me feel dizzy and sick. My stomach is upset and I throw up my dinner. Gentle and Squeeze are yelling at each other, much like the big man used to do. When the big case stops moving, Gentle picks me up but is not as gentle as she was before.

I am taken from the cold into warm light and put on the ground. I do not know where to go or what to do. Gentle and Squeeze have gone into another room, I can hear them talking. Perhaps I will explore and find them, but first I must to go to bathroom. I venture out into a big long hallway. I do not want to go any farther; it is much too far. I will call for them. Squeeze comes around the corner and is walking fast towards me. He grabs my mouth hard and holds it shut. His hands are hard and strong. He looks into my eyes and makes me look into his. They are mad eyes. I do not want him to have mad eyes at me, so I look away. He lets go of me and walks away. I am still in the big long hallway and call out for Gentle but Squeeze is coming again. I want to run and hide but he has me in his big hands. I am so frightened. His hand is grabbing for my mouth again but I am trying to bury it into my body. He finds my mouth and holds it tight. This time he carries me down the long hallway still holding my mouth closed. I can see Gentle and when he puts me down, I run to her. She picks me up and cuddles me tenderly. She offers me a drink of water and some food. My stomach is still upset but I am thirsty.

Gentle puts me outside onto the cold wet ground. I try to get back into warm light, but she closes the door. I am shivering but after a few minutes, Gentle comes outside and picks me up. Inside the warm light she talks to me in a soft whisper voice and holds me close to her face. I feel relaxed and sleepy. She places me carefully in a case and carries me to a dark cool room and closes the door. I want to call for her but I am too sleepy; it’s been a busy day. I am awakened by the sound of Gentle and Squeeze talking. The door opens and Gentle comes to me. She picks me up and carries me into the warm light. As she puts me down she firmly presses my nose into something that is sticky and smelly. I recognize the smell as my own. Then she carries me back into the cool dark place and puts me back into the case. I do not know why she did that.

I feel the case move and Squeeze lifts me up and carries me into the warm light. I am met with loud screams made by two little people. Squeeze puts me on the floor between the two little people. Miniature hands are all over me; they are grabbing, pinching and pulling at me. I am scared and do not know what to do. I am trying to be still, but they are hurting me. I will try and run away. I cannot run away, they are holding me too tightly.

Gentle walks into the warm light and uses a loud voice. I have not heard her loud voice before. The two little people let go of me and I run from them. I scramble over some boxes and take cover under something that is tall and prickles my skin. I back up as far as I can and hear loud crashing sounds around me. I am very still and the crashing sounds stop. Gentle leaves the room but comes back with a big stick. She sweeps the big stick around me and then bends down. She leaves the room and the big stick is gone.

I can see all the people from where I am and they are sitting down and quiet. I will go and be with Gentle. I will go slowly in case the two little people come for me again. They see me and seem happy that I am coming to them. Gentle reaches her hand to me and I run to her hand. She picks me up and holds me close. The little people are coming over and I am frightened, but Gentle strokes me and I feel safe. The little people are touching me now, but this time their miniature hands are soft against my fur. I am not frightened now. Gentle puts me down and I stay with the little people, I do not run away from them. One of the little people has something round and rolls it across the floor. I am curious and run after the rolling round. They all seem happy and clap their hands for me. We spend a long time playing with the rolling round, but I am getting tired and need a sleep.

The two little people want to keep playing, but I am going to find Gentle so she can hold me for a sleep. The miniature hands are grabbing at me again but I run fast to another room and hide from their hands underneath something low so they can’t get me. The two little people are using loud voices and reaching for me but they can’t touch me, I am too far away. Squeeze comes in and he is carrying the big stick that Gentle had before. He shoves the big stick under to try and get me to run out. I am very scared and try to be still, but the big stick is poking at me and it hurts. I try to grab the stick to move it away but Squeeze uses a loud voice and pokes the stick harder at me. I try and run away from the big stick but when I come out Squeeze grabs me roughly with his big hands.

The two little people are jumping up and pulling at my hair. Squeeze says something to them in a big voice and they both start crying. Gentle comes into the room and takes me from Squeeze; thank goodness she is here. She takes me into the dark cool room and puts me in the case. She knows I am tired and need my sleep. When I wake up I can hear the people talking, they seem happy. I call for Gentle to come for me. I have to call for a long time before she comes. She picks me up and gives me a cuddle then takes me out to the cold, wet place and closes the door.

White flakes are falling from the sky and I try to catch them as they fall. They are everywhere and I have fun chasing and catching them. It is quiet and peaceful here, but cold. I call for Gentle to come for me. I see her at the door and she calls for me to come in. I am happy to come back into the warm light. As I come to her, I stop and go to the bathroom. Gentle runs toward me and puts my nose into my bathroom; then she puts me back out into the cold, wet outside. I do not know why I am back outside, but I will catch the falling flakes and play by myself. I do not understand people.

Gentle is at the door and calls me to come to her. I am confused to go to her. Last time I ran to her she put my nose in bathroom. I will stay outside and play. Gentle calls for me again and stretches out her hand to come to her. I am cold and want to go to the warm light so I run to her. She scoops me up and gives me kisses and cuddles me. She makes my dinner and the house is quiet again, I do not see the two little people anywhere. Squeeze is in another room laying down watching moving pictures. After I eat my dinner I look for Gentle, but can’t find her. I will explore.

I see a string and start playing and chewing it. I pull and tug at it and suddenly there is a crashing sound and I am covered with sharp pieces. I cry for help and both Gentle and Squeeze run to me. Gentle picks me up and looks at me all over. I am shaking so she holds me close. Squeeze is using his big voice again and I see him carrying the big stick. I must get away from him and the stick. Gentle will not let me go even though I am struggling to get away. Finally, she understands that I am frightened and takes me to the cool dark place and puts me in my case. I am still shaking but am so tired; sleep comes quickly.

That day was many, many sleeps ago. I am big now and have grown to learn so much since that first Christmas. People can be difficult to understand. It is important to be cautious around men and little people; they can be unpredictable. Even the gentle people can be confusing sometimes.

I am alone most of the time, but it’s not so bad. I don’t really know much else. I spend my days in the outside area and have seen the seasons change many times. When it snows it reminds me of playing and catching the flakes that Christmas Day and of Gentle when she used to hold and cuddle me tenderly. I have to think hard to hold on to those memories; I don’t want them to fade away. I really don’t have a lot of memories.

I spend my nights in the cool dark area that is called a ‘garage’. My case is too small for me now, so I can wander around the garage on my own. After all I am a big dog now. My fur is dirty and tangled most of the time, but sometimes Gentle brushes me. She is very busy and can’t spend a lot of time with me, but that’s okay. I love her just the same.

Sometimes I can see her in the warm light when I am outside and I long to be with her. The two little people are not little anymore. They don’t play rolling round with me anymore and haven’t for a long time. I heard them say I was ‘dumb’ and a ‘scaredy dog’. I do not know what that means, but I would love to play rolling round again. Squeeze is to be avoided or given space. I try to please him, but he frightens me.

I think Christmas is coming again. The flakes are falling and my people brought a big tree and lots of packages into the warm light. Maybe this Christmas they will bring me in too.

Lorraine Houston is a feature writer for Dogs, Dogs, Dogs! and an evaluator for Therapeutic Paws of Canada and St. John Ambulance Therapy Dogs. She is a member of the Etobicoke Humane Society’s dog adoption team and the director of Speaking of Dogs, an organization devoted to education, outreach and rescue. A Maxwell Award winner from Dog Writers Assoc. of America, Lorraine lives in Don Mills with her husband, two sons and family dogs. She may be contacted at lhh4dogs@rogers.com or through www.speakingofdogs.com